*THIS IS A BLOG I WROTE ORIGINALLY ON MEDIUM IN 2022, TODAY, DISCOVERING IT AND READING IT AGAIN WAS LIKE A PRESENT THAT MY PAST SELF SENT TO ME. So happy to see this. Hope it helps you positively too :) *
About half a year ago, I wrote this note to myself:
What’s the point of it all? I guess there’s no point after all.
What you call life is just a tiny second on the cosmic scale, Your life is already over, everything has already happened. It’s just stretched in your head, spanning years and decades.
When you put that into perspective, you realize that there is nothing really to be worried about.
You’ve been given the chance to experience life, the only purpose of life is that you enjoy it and have a beautiful time here. There is no more meaning left to find.
Although I still believe what I said, “ We’re here to experience life, that’s our purpose, that’s why we’re here”, It never sank in. I’ve always kept mindlessly chasing things, building securities, trying to form a shield around myself to feel better, validated and safer in the raw and real world.
I wrote on:
The collective chaos that we’ve created is called society. It’s pretty elegant tbh, a system in which a lot of people can work together to make our species work.
And yeah, there’s a lot of disparity, but fortunately, you’ve been born in privilege. The good part of that is that you’ll never really die of hunger.
The good part is that you don’t have to worry about that and you can actually live out a beautiful time here. Many cannot, and I think that should drive you to be grateful.
And this is the thing that didn’t sink in. We keep chasing, we keep running behind things hoping they’ll make us feel happier. We are afraid, afraid of falling behind, afraid of so many things, afraid of that girl not liking us, afraid of getting low scores on the test, afraid of people not looking at us the same way if we don’t continue displaying our worth, afraid of ourselves.
This fear isn’t real.
These “What if I fail”, “What if this, What if that” are just elements in your imagination. Realise the truth, you’re not gonna die hungry. If you found yourself reading this blog and understanding its English, you’re probably smart enough to never die of hunger. You have nothing to fear.
Yes, you wouldn’t want to get to that point where you have to work for bare minimum survival but understand how much you’re limiting your experience of life by not allowing yourself to be happy and live since you’re chasing behind that security.
YOU ALREADY HAVE THE GODDAMN SECURITY, IT’S CALLED PRIVILEGE IT’S CALLED YOUR BRAIN, IT’S CALLED HAVING GOOD EDUCATION, A HOUSE, A DECENT INTERNET CONNECTION.
Everything else is just a construct of your mind and the dumb scared people around you who got it from their predecessors.
Honestly, It still doesn’t sink in, you’ll probably not be any different after reading this, I am not much different after listening to these ideas for hours straight.
But here are a few thought-journeys I went on that made me get some feeling of what it meant.
If I take 17 year old you and show him what you’ve done, what you’ve achieved, how much you’ve grown as a person. He’d die of joy, he wouldn’t even be able to imagine himself doing things that are now second nature to you. He wouldn’t be able to believe it, at all.
_Now look at this from his perspective, you teleport him into your current state, he’d be so happy, he’d be jumping, he’d be satisfied, proud, content. _And yet, here you are, not satisfied, not happy at all, chasing new security, a new goal, a new goal you feel the “need” to accomplish to be happy.
So why not you give that 17 year old yourself a chance to live and be happy. Why not enjoy the present moment and what you’ve been given. Yes work, yes do everything you were doing. But why keep so many desires which delay your happiness. You have nowhere to be, everything is now.
Here’s the second one:
Every single such fear you have is overly long term, see, this is how you think like: If this girl doesn’t like me → I am not a man of value → no girl will like me →I will be lonely and sad → I will be on my deathbed, lonely and sad, I won’t be happy ever. Well, you aren’t much happy at this moment either, how is this worriedness helping you?
Listen honey, you could die tomorrow, then what ? What about the moment you wasted today being worried and negative about that girl not liking you. You were worried, you put the limited time you have into negative thoughts and experiences. How is this a just way to live life?
Although I’ve just understood these and I could still not act in this way tomorrow and overly worry myself about something. Slowly, repeating these basics, coming back to what’s important and what matters, we’ll get there. Everyone gets there you know, everyone who wakes up wanting to know more about the “human-experience or as you call it, Life” everyone understands this. Just some on their deathbed, some while they’re 60, some in a major car accident at 28, some earlier due to extreme experiences, and some due to great people around them.
This is what I wrote to myself today, a small step in getting towards living in the present, living a happier and fulfilled life, every day, not one day.
there is no chase, there is no job there is nothing you have to do in the world. When it will come to you surviving, you’ll find a way to survive. And frankly, you’re never going to die out of hunger. So chasing something to build a security against you dying, doesn’t make sense.
Do things because you have fun, do things because it’s a great experience.
Do things with no expectation, you don’t have to achieve anything you don’t have to be anywhere.
Society is nothing, being in someone’s even more elevated privilege position would not make you any more happier.
You could die tommorow, so don’t be afraid of something you can’t get to on your infinite deathbed, what about today, what about now, why isn’t this moment of time holding the same value.
Skills are nothing, 15 year old kids will come and replace what your so called hard-skills are, playing life on the basis and security of those is not too smart either.
Remember, wherever you are, in a fancy college, in the best hotel in the world, or in an uncomfortable seat in an office in the corner of nowhere. YOU’LL BE THE SAME PERSON!
If you’re a jolly folk, you’ll make the best out of your present, feel happy with what you have and you’ll be smart enough to build better situations for yourself slowly. If you are someone who isn’t happy, always complaining, or always having a new goal to chase, new thing to accomplish AFTER WHICH YOU’D THINK YOU’D BE HAPPY. I can put you in Jeff Bezos’s mansion and you would still be chasing something further.
You’re a human, Bill Gates is a human, happiness and satisfaction are a function of chemicals in the brain, hence of your interpretation. The way you interpret the world around you matters. Bill gates isn’t any happier or sadder than you, because he’s a human too. Remember that.
In the end, Why am I even writing this, well there are three reasons:
- I feel the need to put this out there, even though no one is reading right now, eventually, someone might.
- I’ve always felt this thing towards writing like this, it’s like catering to the poet inside me, it’s fun to do this, to form metaphors, write out ideas of life, try to convey your thoughts beautifully. It’s only felt like work when I’ve taken it as work.
- Of course, who am I kidding, it would be pretty cool if someone cool sees this and we have a little serendipitous rendezvous, but I’m not expecting nor counting on it. (that’s the first time I’ve used rendezvous ever in life, a pretty cool word right?)
Peace ✌️
Here’s a quote from one of my fav videos.
Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive. Because what the world needs most, is more people coming alive.
See ya in the next one.